James: Chasing Puka’s Love might be “greatest 0–4 team in the history of fantasy football”
Four losses. Zero doubts. One manager convinced the standings have missed the point.
Chasing Puka’s Love manager James insists his team’s winless start fails to reflect the quality of a roster that has consistently dominated the projected-score column.
“On paper, we’re one of the best teams in the league,” James told reporters while refreshing the waiver wire. “Unfortunately, the league keeps counting what happens on the field.”
James attributed the slow start to difficult opponents, unfortunate timing and an increasingly suspicious policy requiring his players to score actual points.
“Apparently, everybody’s best week is the week they play me.”JAMES · MANAGER, CHASING PUKA’S LOVE
Despite mounting pressure, James retains the full confidence of ownership, largely because ownership is also James.
Sources inside the organization describe morale as “optimistic until approximately 10:15 Sunday morning.” Preparations for the next matchup reportedly include rearranging the same struggling players and hoping the app notices.
Commissioner Trevor declined to endorse James’s assessment.
“We respect what he’s building,” Trevor said. “Every competitive league needs somebody keeping the bottom of the standings from blowing away.”
James remains convinced a turnaround is imminent.
“We’re only one win away from changing the narrative.”
At press time, Chasing Puka’s Love was projected to win its next matchup, extending its unbeaten season in games that haven’t happened.